A Fresh Spin On An Old Truism For People Who Are Tired Of Being Reminded This Too Shall Pass
Please don’t tell me to let it go.
If I can, I will. When I can’t, the advice won’t be useful or appreciated.
Knowing it’s intended to comfort, I’ll secretly revise it into a question: Is there any way to relax your grip on this a little?
Here’s the most effective way I’ve ever learned to try.
Observe impermanence
When we’re worried about something, we know “this too shall pass,” but we can’t know how or when.
Trying to hold out for what’s happening to be over leads to constantly waiting for a more comfortable version of our lives to arrive.
Even when one does, it will pass, too.
It’s counter-instinctual, but shifting our focus to notice “this too is passing,” as Shinzen Young wisely encourages, helps weaken our resistance to discomfort and enrich our experience of comfort as they continuously ebb and flow.
Observe the passing
Once you start looking for it, observable flux is everywhere, including in our thoughts and feelings, sights and sounds — even tastes and smells. It can be surprisingly comforting to pay attention to it.
Whenever it rains, I remember this passage from poet and memoirist Nick Flynn:
“Thich Nhat Hahn says it is a mistake to say, ‘The rain is falling,’ to say, ‘The wind is blowing.’
What is rain if it is not falling? he asks. What is wind if it is not blowing?
The falling is the rain, the blowing is the wind.
He’s talking about impermanence.”
Becoming fascinated by ever-present fluctuations won’t turn unpleasant moments into pleasant ones, but it can teach us to loosen our internal grip on uncertainty, making it feel more inhabitable and alive.
