One Thing You Can Do When You Feel Stuck And It Seems Like There’s Nothing You Can Do About It
I love the scene from Groundhog Day where Phil wows Rita with intimate details about random strangers in the diner. She’s convinced it’s just a stunt and dares him to tell her something he couldn’t know about her life.
PHIL: You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There’s a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You’re kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
RITA: How are you doing this?
PHIL: I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2nd, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
We’re all on Phil’s side. Everyone can all relate to feeling trapped by the repetitious monotony of daily life.
But his waking nightmare persists until he gives up hope for an escape.
His circumstances don’t change
The weather doesn’t clear up.
The looping sequence of daily difficulties doesn’t go away.
The only difference is the way he responds to what’s beyond his control.
His torture becomes transformative
By focusing on what he’s able to do, he learns to play the piano, speak French, and enjoy the townspeople he’d looked down on.
He starts to feel at home in snowbound Punxsutawney.
When you’re stuck, shifting your focus can feel liberating
Mindfulness practice isn’t about trying to escape our lives. It doesn’t exempt us from addressing personal and societal problems. It doesn’t make them comfortable.
Mindful habits develop our willingness to look more closely at the ways we habitually resist discomfort and equip us to respond more effectively.
It’s about dressing for the current weather instead of perpetually waiting for the weather we prefer.
It means deciding to step into some of our metaphorical blizzards, discovering our resilience, and making ourselves at home in spite of what’s outside of our control.
This article originally appeared in the Scattered Attention Newsletter in February 2016.
